HERBERT DAVY'S LETTER TO MEHER BABA 12th SEPTEMBER 1932
Page 1 :
1) The morning of your wire to me at
2) Again Kitty forgot to mention that Mother's illness was mortal or fatal ;
I tried to put through a phone call to
3) Worried by the difficulty of raising finance and of expense I did like to
4) I always feared that
5) I had time to be innoculated for Cholera at
6) I tramped the streets of
7) At Manchouli ( Russian & Manchurian border
), my presence saved the lives of
the two support Chinese students who later in China I learned - were really patriots and conspirators
trying to contact the anti-Japanese armies in Manchuria. One of them may be destined to be a great man
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He now regards me as having saved his life. Was
it worth saving, if so ? Or should I rather have gone to
8) From 21st to 28th – I stayed in
9) September 29th to October 3rd, at
10) Tai Shan is the oldest and most sacred Mountain ( Mt.Tai ) in China for Taoist religion and , many pilgrims go there – so I slept the night there ( 11 ) in the temple on the summit. Then Chufoo ( Qufu ) the birth and death place of Confucius.
I don’t really like
Page 3 : has to earn one’s living and work – a bad fault of mine – endless intrigue and political rottenness, anti-foreign feelings, very low standards of educational work, and it all seems rather useless on its own plane. Loneliness has seemed very acute lately, no friends and no exercise or amusement or music – however I lived for so many years thus, waiting working for the future – I can wait now till February 1933.
Seeing these places in the North I found
Here it is quite different. Generalising hastily – Northerners always seem to be more attractive than Southerners. I have debated in my mind and slept over it a night, whether to burn this letter and to write another full of bald statements and no personal feelings and grievances – the heroic and noble course. However if you do not already know all of them moans, groans and whines you had better see them instead of a would be heroic attitude or surface.
I feel upset in some way – whether it is M’s death unwarned ; news from May about Zilla’s changed attitude to you ; some tiredness or dissatisfaction about my three month’s travelling & Warsaw ; finances and Kitty ; an empty house here and cost of refurnishing ; the disciples of Jesus were apparently all deluded as to the immediate coming of the Kingdom – are we all equally deluded and will it be a repetition after February ?
Page 4 : Now all this is very selfish – I want to help in your work not to ask you to waste time and energy in helping me because I sound dispirited and depressed. Anyway, I am changing and feel less lonely and depressed than I have felt the last few weeks.
Yet it seems, even at the cost of selfishness, better or easier should I say to write all these things than to conceal them and pretend to be an hero and a stoic. I suppose I feel un-moved in some curious sense, and my conviction about you is obscured in my mind though maybe not in my heart. Since so many millions of mankind have been and are deluded about Messiah’s ( Krishnamurti, etc. ) why should I expect to escape – self conceit and reincarnation flattery seems sufficient for most of us to lose our heads on and we listen to it.
Personally, I don’t mind being a fool, I am so used to it, but I would very much mind having led my relations and my friends into a deluded belief.
A nice letter from Meredith, all about hermits in the sands at Oceano who
have been taught by M.S. “how to work and eat seaweed – kelp, a wonderful dish”
( He arrives in
I cannot but laugh though a little uneasily when I recall my own attitude
of respect and obedience 18 months ago. It was on his word, against the advice
of all my doctors at
Did you get letters all about the Villa at
I think all negotiations should be in my name or anyone elses, not yours,
because of Italian authorities at
A queer letter, and by the time you read it, this mood may be long past.